Why is Body Image So Hard to Fix?
As a former eating disorder therapist, one of the questions I got asked the most was, “Why is body image so hard to fix?”
It’s a great question and one I remember asking myself for years on end.
Truth be told, I became an eating disorder therapist after being fed up with most of the professionals in the field during my own journey.
I was tired of being told that body image was “the last thing to go” without anyone really giving me any insight into why or what I needed to do to fix it.
This inspired me to do my own research and spend years of trial-and-error figuring out what the underlying causes are of negative body image (and then developing a system to heal it.)
So if you’ve been spinning your wheels wondering why you haven’t been able to fix your body image, I’m going to shed some light on those murky waters and share the top 3 reasons that body image is so hard to fix.
Ready? Let’s get started.
Reason #1: Your Body Image is About a Whole Lot More Than How Your Body Looks
I really wanted to label Reason #1 “It’s Complicated,” but you might’ve just clicked away and I don’t want that to happen.
The number one reason that body image is so difficult to fix is that it’s never about one thing; it’s about a whole host of factors.
Body image involves the thoughts, feelings, sensations, & perceptions related to your body. It includes how you feel in your body & what you think about your body, which in turn affect how you treat your body.
This means there are numerous factors that affect your body image, including:
Childhood memories/messages
Cultural norms
Media influence
Gender norms
Identity issues
Sexuality
Involvement in sports & athletics
Messaging from parents, family members, teachers, coaches, friends, partners, etc.
Your emotions
Your relationship with food
Your relationship with exercise
Life stressors or changes (both positive and negative)
Trauma
Mental health struggles
Physical illness or physical health struggles
Etc.
Body image is hard to fix because it doesn’t just have one root; it has a dozen.
It’s a combination of cultural messages, life experiences, personal factors/history, personality traits, etc.
This means that in order to improve your body image, you need to figure out which factors are contributing most to your negative body image and work on those in order to see change.
But most women don’t want to hear that.
Most women would prefer to avoid the deeper work altogether or find some kind of quick fix or workaround in the form of a diet, a fitness routine, etc. But it doesn’t work like that.
Healing your body image takes time, sometimes a lot of time.
It is not an overnight fix; sometimes it takes years of deep healing and consistency with new habits to get to the change you’re looking for.
Reason #2: You Need a Solid Relationship With Yourself & Your Emotions
If I had to pick the biggest factor related to body image it would be your relationship with yourself.
The reason for this is because how you feel about yourself affects everything else in your life.
Having a solid relationship with yourself means that you have a basic understanding of your emotions, a sense of self-esteem, and enough self-worth to make choices that enhance your life.
You see, there is a direct correlation between your emotional state and how you feel about your body.
Have you ever noticed that when you’re really stressed out, anxious, frustrated, or afraid your body image tends to get worse? And on days where you’re feeling happier, light-hearted, or focused on something good in your life your body image usually isn’t quite as bad?
When you have a good relationship with yourself, you:
Have good emotional literacy (i.e. you know what you’re feeling)
Know how to regulate your emotions when you’re having a hard day
Spend time with people who are uplifting, supportive, and inspiring
Engage in positive self-talk
Set boundaries
Have good self-care habits
Believe in yourself
Are more resilient when it comes to life’s challenges
When you are an expert in yourself, you know how to take care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. This naturally sets you up to do more of the things that contribute to positive body image and less of the things that hurt it.
And this, my friends, is everything.
The biggest distinguishing factor between those who actually heal their body image and those who go on to struggle for years on end is that the first group understands that body image distress is rooted in their emotions & they know what to do about it.
(Psst—If you want to dive deeper into this, I have a guide that will teach you my exact method for working with emotions to heal your body image. You can check it out here.)
Reason #3: You Need a Lifestyle That Supports Your Body Image
A sustainable, positive relationship with your body comes from designing a lifestyle that supports it.
To explain this, let me share with you an example from my own life.
When I was growing up, I really loved the idea of having a career that would allow me to travel.
Fast forward to graduate school: I had just graduated with my second master’s degree in counseling and through a series of interesting events, I got hired by a small but international consulting firm.
Although I had a lot of fun working with Fortune 500 companies and getting to hob-knob with fancy executives, the 70 hour work weeks, long nights and weekends, and frequent travel took a huge toll on me physically and mentally.
I was constantly stressed out, burned out, and very unhappy. And my body image took a toll.
Once the shiny fun parts of the job wore off, I knew that it was not a sustainable lifestyle for me and eventually I walked away from that career.
It was a tough lesson to learn, but that job taught me that I am the type of person who does better with a structured 9-5 that has somewhat of a predictable routine. The on-the-go lifestyle of a consultant just wasn’t for me.
Knowing this was invaluable, because it allowed me to design a lifestyle that supported my wellbeing instead of detracting from it.
So ask yourself, is the way you’re living your life supporting your mental and physical health?
Is your job, school program, routine, habits and overall lifestyle creating the foundation you need to feel your best?
The thing about this question is that most women usually know the answer right off the bat; you feel it in your gut even if it’s hard to admit.
But when it comes to body image, the more you create a lifestyle that helps you feel your best by allowing you the time, space, and resources you need to take care of yourself, the better off you will be.
Bottom line: When you have a lifestyle that supports your wellbeing, you are setting your body image up for success.
Until next time. xx