How to Choose Your Soul Over Your Ego
Any time I am faced with a difficult decision, a little voice pops up in the back of my head with this reminder:
Don’t forsake yourself.
Don’t make a choice based off of what you think you should do or what others want.
Don’t make the choice that feeds your ego now, but will crush your soul later.
Don’t do something that you already know deep down you’re going to regret.
When we try to make others happy while forsaking ourselves, we end up miserable and resentful.
People-pleasing is a never-ending road & trying to prove your worth to anyone is a dead-end.
Those who don’t already think you’re worthy now never will.
You get to decide who holds the power in your life.
And you get to decide whether or not to give it away.
I will never forget the way I learned this lesson...
I was 29 years old & working in consulting.
I’ll admit that I loved a lot of parts of that job.
I loved the problem-solving, I loved the challenge, and I loved that I could work remotely from Denver and travel when I needed to.
I’ll even admit that I loved the ego boost of working on famous brands and getting to meet with high-powered executives on a regular basis.
It was fun for a time, even if it wasn’t fulfilling.
After some time, it became clear that it would not only be more efficient for me to be in the office with the rest of the team, but it would also allow for more growth in my career.
But the thing is…I didn't want to.
I had just moved back to Denver a year earlier, found an incredible apartment with a view of the mountains, and lived minutes away from my favorite hiking spots.
I couldn't fathom moving back to Philly to live in the city. The mere thought of being back in a concrete jungle made me sick.
My heart screamed "No!" but my ego screamed "YES!"
Ultimately, I chose the opportunity for more money and more prestige in my career.
I listened to others when they said, "You'd be crazy not to move...and you can be happy later once you've made all that money."
And I literally sobbed as I packed up my apartment and shipped my belongings back across the country.
I didn’t use my voice to speak up & choose my soul, so I promptly lost my voice with a bad case of bronchitis and laryngitis for the next month.
“Use your voice or lose it,” was what my soul told me.
I knew all along it wasn’t what I wanted. I knew deep down it wasn’t the right move, even if it was the one that looked good on paper and was impressive to everyone else.
I moved back to Philly in July of that year. By Labor Day that job had become so toxic and untenable that I gave my notice and the next month was back in Colorado. Where I was meant to be all along.
Very rarely is it the case that we "don't know what to do."
When we think we don't know what to do, it's usually because we haven't gotten still enough with ourselves to hear what our soul has to say.
The mind is too noisy, the ego is too loud, and there are too many layers of guilt, shame, perfectionism, and other conditioning blocking the purity of our desire.
And sometimes, it takes a while to undo all of that.
One thing is true though: If your world is filled with the noise, chaos, and opinions of others, you sure as sh*t aren't going to hear what your inner guidance is telling you to do.
I made a promise to myself after I left that job: Never again would I forsake myself.
Never again would I choose my ego over my soul.
Never again would I choose impressive over happy.
So if you’re at a crossroads between your ego and your soul, you get to ask yourself:
Which decision has MY back?
Which decision feels like MY truth, even if it doesn’t make sense to anyone else?
Which decision doesn’t forsake MY soul?
This is your life. YOUR life.
If you can make that decision, it’ll always lead you in the direction that is truest for you. And following your truth is the only real way to be happy.